


It Won't Be Lost Forever

by sleepingvirgo



Series: Don't Give In [2]
Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Emetophobia, Family Feels, Injured Ponyboy Curtis, Medical Inaccuracies, Ponyboy Curtis Needs a Hug, Seizures, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepingvirgo/pseuds/sleepingvirgo
Summary: It had been a month since Pony's last seizure. What the doctor said just wasn't sitting right with Darry. He had a bad feeling about this. Damn, he hated when he was right.orthe sequel to Brother, Let Me Be Your Shelter
Relationships: Darrel Curtis & Ponyboy Curtis & Sodapop Curtis
Series: Don't Give In [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144877
Kudos: 32





	1. It's In Your Making

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated! Life. You know, the usual. 
> 
> Anyways, I really wanted to continue the story from Brother, Let Me Be Your Shelter, so here it is! This is going to be multiple chapters this time! 
> 
> Also, once again, there will be medical inaccuracies, so sorry about that. Hope you enjoy!

It had been a month since Ponyboy’s last seizure. The doctor chalked it up to be the result of a combination of exhaustion and stress. Although Darry didn’t buy it. Yeah, Ponyboy had been having a hard time falling asleep recently, but he had been struggling with that for months, and nothing as serious as a seizure had occurred. Darry had been adamant about that with the doctor, who in turn blamed it on track and school instead. Said it must be tiring him out and it must be too much for him at the moment. But, school had never been a problem for Pony. Throw in the tragedy Ponyboy just faced with the loss of Johnny and Dally, and the doctor said it made sense for something like this to happen. Claimed it was like a volcano, just waiting to burst. It just didn’t add up in Darry’s head. Pony never had problems with balancing track and school. Did losing Johnny and Dally just hit him harder than Darry had thought? Was he really struggling that bad and Darry hadn’t noticed? His mind raced with endless possibilities of ways he had failed Ponyboy as he poured uncooked pasta into the boiling water on the stove top. He checked his watch. Soda was due home any minute now. Ponyboy hadn’t been much company since he’d come home from school. He barely said hello to Darry before he was rushing to his room, claiming he had homework to get done. Darry hadn’t questioned him about it.

“Pasta again? Glory, am I gettin’ tired of that,” a voice piped up behind Darry, nearly scaring him out of his wits. He’d been too lost in his thoughts to hear Soda come in.

“Damnit Soda,” Darry mumbled, irritated with the fact Soda had snuck up on him coupled with the fact he had the audacity to complain about dinner. He spared a glance behind him, watching as Soda stripped himself of his work uniform, laying it across the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

“Where’s Pony?” Soda asked, running a hand through his hair. Darry motioned towards their bedroom with his head as he stirred the pasta.

“Said he’s workin’ on homework. Must’ve been mighty excited about it, he rushed straight there once he came home. Didn’t say hi to me or nothin’,” Darry said, huffing to himself.

“Man, that brain of his…,” Soda rambled. Darry continued to mindlessly stir the pasta.

“Has he seemed off to you recently?” Darry blurted out before he could stop himself. Soda turned towards Darry and stared at him for a second, taking him in. Did he seem tense? Soda shrugged.

“I don’t know, he always seems off these days. He’s been acting fine recently, as far as I can tell. Why? Does he seem off to you? Is there something you know that I don’t?” Soda said, crossing him arms over his chest. Darry turned his back to the stove and faced Soda. Soda stared Darry down, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“No, no, I just got to thinkin’. A dangerous past time, I know. It’s just… ever since his… seizure, I’ve just had a bad feelin’. I just don’t know if I trust what the doctor said about him bein’ worn out and all. Just doesn’t seem like Pony,” Darry said, mirroring Soda’s body language, crossing his arms as well as he leaned against the stove.

“He’s fine, Dar. I would notice if something was up with him. Plus, who are you to say the doc was wrong about Pony? He’s the professional, after all,” Soda said, a slight edge to his voice as he finished. Darry cocked his head at the attitude displayed.

“Hey, watch your tone,” Darry warned. “Listen, I was just sayin’, Soda. I’m just worried about the kid, and I was just feelin’ unsure about the doctor’s words. Just feel like it’s more than that,” Darry huffed, turning back around to take the pasta off the heat.

“Like you’d know,” Soda scoffed, turning to make his way to the bathroom. Darry froze and set the pot he was holding back down, a little harder than necessary.

“What was that?” Darry said, hands remaining on the handles of the pot as he eyed the contents.

“I said, like you’d know. You never even pay attention to Pony,” Soda said, rubbing a hand over his face. The bags under his eyes were evident. Sadly, Pony not being able to sleep also meant Soda not being able to sleep.

“Where the hell is this comin’ from? I do pay attention to Pony, Soda. I’m just busy, I’ve got work, I’ve got shit to do,” Darry implied, turning to look at Soda, eyes boring into his soul. Soda spared a glance at Darry. He was really testing the waters tonight.

“We all got shit to do, Darry,” Soda said, resuming his walk to the bathroom. He couldn’t handle this conversation anymore. He just wanted to shower, get some food in him, and then go to sleep. It had been a long day.

“Damnit, I’m tryin’ my best here, Soda, you know that,” Darry said. He resumed his task of taking the pot off the heat and draining the pasta.

“Mhm. Funny that you claim you’re tryin’ your best all the time when you ain’t even home half the time,” Soda exclaimed, immediately regretting the words that left his mouth. He knew Darry was trying his best, hell he went above and beyond for them. There was no excuse for what Soda had just said. He’d had a shitty day, and sadly, Darry was just a victim of his frustration. He inwardly cursed himself and anticipated Darry’s response. He was met with silence. The sound of the spaghetti sauce jar being popped open echoed through Soda’s body.

“Shit, Dar-,” Soda started, but was cut off.

“Dinner’s ready, go get Pony,” Darry said, putting an end to the conversation. Soda took a deep breath as he stood in the living room. He’d really messed up.

* * *

A few days went by, the environment of the Curtis household tense. Ponyboy noticed a change immediately a few nights ago at dinner between Soda and Darry, but he didn’t say anything. Thought maybe they both just had bad days. Then a few days went by, Soda and Darry still avoiding one another. Ponyboy had tried questioning Soda about it that night, but Soda just shrugged him off, claimed Pony was just seeing things.

“Seein’ things, my ass,” Pony had mumbled, turning out the lights to go to bed. Another restless night, he was sure. Something was definitely up between Soda and Darry, Pony just couldn’t figure out what. A sharp pain shot through his head as he lay it on his pillow, curtesy of his headache of 4 going on 5 days. All these headaches were really starting to get on Ponyboy’s nerves, there was only so much aspirin one could take. He hadn’t mentioned anything to Soda or Darry due to the tension in the house. He figured it was just a migraine, his coach _had_ been working them harder than usual at their practices. He was on the brink of sleep when a wave of nausea hit him. He moaned softly as he curled in on himself. Not tonight, not tonight, please, he begged to himself. It only grew worse as he lay there. His body decided it couldn’t take it anymore and suddenly he was on his feet, tearing out of the bedroom and to the bathroom. He emptied the entire contents of his stomach into the toilet. Yes, this is exactly how he wanted to be spending his night, expelling his entire dinner into the john.

“Shit, Pony, are you okay?” a hushed voice was heard from the doorway. He felt a hand on his back, rubbing back and forth in soothing motions. Darry, his mind supplied. Man, he hated Darry seeing him like this.

“I’m sorry, Darry. Did I wake you?” Pony mumbled, choking on a gag as his stomach rebelled against him once again. Soda must have been dead to the world to not hear Pony barreling out of bed and out the door. Good, Pony thought. He deserved to get some sleep.

“Nah, I was still up. Couldn’t sleep. When did you start feelin’ sick, Pone?” Darry asked, popping a squat next to Pony on the floor of the bathroom. Done for now, Pony moved away from the toilet and leaned against the bathtub.

“Just hit me all of a sudden,” Pony said, closing his eyes and tilting his head back, the air conditioning from the air vent hitting his face just right. Man, his head was killing him.

“I’m sorry, little buddy. You think you’re done for now? You wanna set up camp on the couch with me?” Darry asked, concern lining his features. Taking a deep breath, Pony nodded. Anywhere but the bathroom floor sounded great. Darry helped hike him up off the floor, hands firmly on Pony’s shoulders as he guided him to the living room, setting him on the couch. Reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch, Darry sat down next to Pony. He tossed the blanket over Pony, fixing it so it was fully covering his body. Pony scooted closer to Darry, curling up into his side. Darry froze, momentarily unsure of what to do with himself. He wasn’t used to this kind of affection when it came to Ponyboy. Shaking himself out of his daze, he wrapped his arm around Pony, pulling him closer, if even possible. Pony hummed softly before speaking.

“Dar, what’s goin’ on with you and Soda?” he said, knowing full well he had Darry trapped. Darry rubbed his hand up and down Pony’s arm.

“It’s nothin’ Pony, nothin’ you need to worry about. Just a little brother’s quarrel. We’ll figure it out,” he assured Pony. Pony wasn’t satisfied with that answer.

“Yeah, but what happened? It’s been days and you guys haven’t said a word to each other,” Pony stated. Darry sighed.

“We both just said stuff we shouldn’t have, that’s all. We’ll figure it out.” All the fight was gone in his voice. Darry was tired. Physically and emotionally. He hated fighting with his brothers. It didn’t help that they were all stubborn as hell. Pony tensed up underneath Darry’s arm.

“You feelin’ any better, Pone?” Darry asked, changing the subject while he was ahead. Pony didn’t answer. Assuming Pony was starting to fall asleep, Darry situated himself into a semi-comfortable position. He was going to regret this sleeping arrangement in the morning. As he finished getting situated, he was startled by a sudden jerking movement from Pony.

“Shoot, I’m sorry, Pony, did I kick you?” Darry whispered. Pony didn’t answer once again. Darry lifted the hand that was not around Pony and snaked it through the kid’s hair. Pony was trembling. Shit, he hoped the kid didn’t have a fever.

“Pone, are you awake, baby?” Darry asked, leaning forward slightly to see the kid’s face. His eyes were open, glazed over and staring straight ahead. His head moved to Pony’s forehead, feeling for any warmth. He felt normal. Pony jerked again, this time his arm that was resting on Darry.

“Pony, are you okay? What’s up? You cold?” Darry asked, unsure of what was going on with his brother. Not wanting to disturb his brother too much, he tried his best to get himself situated to where he could see the kid’s face. The jerking only worsened, affecting both Pony’s arms and legs now. Darry tightened his hold around Pony.

“Hey, hey, woah, alright, what’s going on? Alright, alright,” Darry said, trying to remain calm. He needed to get out from under Pony, the kid was freaking out. What was going on? Why was he moving around so much? Not soon after Darry finished that thought, Pony’s jerking turned into convulsions. Darry’s heart skipped a beat, and his mind went blank. Frantically moving himself out from under Pony, he crashed to his knees beside the couch, Pony’s head in his hand.

“Shit. Pony?! Baby? Shit, shit, okay, okay,” Darry rambled, at a loss for words. Pony’s eyes were rolled back in his head and the noises that were emanating from him just about broke Darry.

“Okay, okay, I got you, I got you,” Darry reassured Pony, adjusting his hold on Pony’s head. He rose to his feet, making sure to keep Pony on his side the best he could so he didn’t choke. He called for Soda, hoping he could wake the heavy sleeper. Darry was panicking. He had known something was up with Pony, he fucking knew. This wasn’t just exhaustion and stress. Something was wrong with his kid brother, and that terrified Darry. Footsteps could be heard, and Soda appeared in the doorway of his and Pony’s shared bedroom.

“Darry? What’s - …,” Soda froze, taking in the sight before him. The air was knocked out of him and he held onto the wall to steady himself. His baby brother was in the throes of another seizure, and suddenly Soda was back to that day, a month ago. Shit, Darry had been right.


	2. Don't Fall In Love With The Way Things Were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Curtis brothers are about to receive news that will rock their worlds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, Chapter 2! 
> 
> Okay, this is full of medical inaccuracies, so please take that into consideration! This is also the 60's, so just know I tried my best, lol. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjooyyyy!

Soda was frozen in place, he couldn’t will himself to move. He could feel his heart in his chest, his hearing fading out. What should he do? Didn’t the doctor say something about timing it if it happened again? He didn’t want to get too close to Pony, he wouldn’t be any help at this point.

“I-I’m gonna call 911…,” Soda made the executive decision and started hastily making his way to the phone.

“No!” Darry exclaimed, making Soda jump and whip his head around towards his brother, looking at him like he’d just grown another head. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Soda, we just… we can’t afford another ambulance, I’m sorry, we’re gonna have to take him ourselves,” Darry choked out, meeting Soda’s eyes momentarily, revealing the emotion he was feeling. Soda swallowed and nodded, no point in arguing with Darry about how they could try and figure it out. He stumbled his way over to the couch, noticing Pony was slowing down. His jerks were slow now, happening every so often. Darry could be heard whispering reassurances to him. Soda started making himself useful and grabbing Darry’s car keys, making it so they could just grab Pony and head over to the hospital as soon as possible. He grabbed Darry’s leather jacket as well, just in case. His heart skipped a beat as he remembered what happened after Pony’s last seizure.

“Is he- Is he breathing?” Soda asked, making his way over to Pony again, almost afraid to hear the answer. Darry nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s breathin’, he’s okay,” Darry said, sounding like he was out of breath. “Let’s get goin’.” Soda rushed to the front door to hold it open as Darry started to lift Pony into his arms. Once they were out the door, Soda hurried to do the same at the car. He slipped in first so Darry could hand Pony over to him. They got Pony situated, his head resting on Soda’s lap and his legs sprawled over Darry’s as he started the car up and began to back out. Soda ran a hand through Pony’s hair, hoping to comfort him in some way. Pony let out a small whimper.

“Hey, hey, Pony, honey, can you hear me? It’s okay, you’re okay,” Soda said, leaning his head down closer to Pony as he reassured him. Ponyboy trembled softly under Soda’s touch, and Soda immediately draped Darry’s jacket over him. God, it just about killed him seeing his baby brother like this. The silence in the car was deafening. He and Darry hadn’t talked for a few days, so he didn’t know what to say to him. They were both terrified, and Soda wanted nothing more than to get a reassurance that everything was going to be okay from his big brother, but he didn’t think Darry was going to budge. He groaned inwardly as he wondered how long this would go on for. Pony needed both of them right now, and this was just getting in the way.

* * *

They had taken him back immediately and put Darry and Soda in a waiting room as they took Pony back for some tests. For what, they didn’t say. Darry sat with his hands clasped, head down, and legs bobbing up and down. Soda sat with his arms crossed as he watched Darry.

“Darry, we can’t just not talk forever, Pony had another seizure, for god’s sake, and you’re not going to say anything?” Soda said, the adrenaline dying down and just turning into anger. Darry huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

“What do you want me to say, huh? I told you so?” he asked, an edge to his tone. Soda’s eyes started to fill with tears.

“I’m sorry, Darry, I’m so sorry. I was bein’ difficult, I had a rough day and I haven’t been sleepin’ and it all just boiled over and… shit,” Soda sighed, swallowing. “I should have seen it, I should have noticed something was up with him.” Darry put a hand on Soda’s shoulder and pulled him into his side.

“Hey, don’t blame yourself, c’mon. Pony’s stubborn as hell, he wouldn’t have said anything was wrong even if you had gotten on him about it,” Darry, said, rubbing Soda’s arm to comfort him.

“What if… what if this is bad, Dar? What if this is some sort of… I don’t know… brain tumor or somethin’? What’re we gonna do?” Soda said, putting his face in his hands. Darry tightened his grip on Soda.

“Don’t think like that,” was all Darry said. He didn’t have the heart to tell Soda Pony was going to be just fine – because Darry had no idea himself. He was terrified. He had vowed to protect his brothers from anything and anyone, but how is he supposed to protect Pony from something like this? Whatever “this” is. A knock interrupted his thoughts as a doctor peered into their room. He wore thick, black rimmed glasses and had a receding hairline, greying hair slicked back with far too much mousse.

“Hello, gentlemen,” he said, walking in and closing the door behind him. Darry and Soda tensed up at his entrance.

“Don’t worry, they’ll have Ponyboy back in here to you guys in a bit, they’re finishing up removing the test equipment from him. I wanted to come in here and have a chat with you two before he was brought in,” the doctor reassured, taking a seat across from the two brothers.

“Alright, so, which one of you is Darrel?” the doctor asked, eyes switching between the two men. Darry sat up straighter and stuck his hand out.

“Nice to meet you, Darrel,” he said, returning the handshake. “I’m Dr. Jenkins and I’m the one who’s been looking after Pony this evening. And you are?” he asked, looking to Sodapop and reaching his hand out.

“Oh, uh, I’m Soda, Sodapop,” he said, taking the doctor’s hand. If he thought anything about the peculiarity of their names, he didn’t show it.

“Nice to meet you boys,” he gave them a warm smile. “Alright, I know this is scary, so I’ll get right to the chase. So, as you both know, Ponyboy was brought in this evening after experiencing a grand mal seizure, which was his second one within two months, correct?” the doctor asked. Darry nodded, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

“So, when you brought him in, he was fairly coherent and he was able to keep a decent conversation going with us, which was good news,” the doctor peeked at his notes on his clipboard. “He didn’t show any signs of memory loss, no signs of confusion, although he did complain of a headache.”

“Yeah, he had a mighty bad headache tonight before the, y’know,” Darry piped up, clearing his throat after he finished his thought. Dr. Jenkins looked up and nodded in understanding.

“Well, we ended up running some tests, which included an MRI to check for any lesions or abnormalities on the brain,” the doctor said, Soda and Darry immediately tensing up. They held their breath as they waited for an answer.

  
“The results came back clean, nothing to worry about,” the doctor reassured, giving them another smile. Darry and Soda visibly relaxed, and Darry put a hand on Soda’s thigh.

“We ended up taking some blood, and also conducted an EEG, which shows us the electrical activity in the brain. What we saw gave us a little insight on what we might be looking at with what’s wrong with Ponyboy.” Soda placed his hand over Darry’s on his thigh and Darry roped them together.

“We saw some abnormalities in his brain waves and compared them to the EEG conducted when he was brought in last month. Based off of what we saw, and based off of the symptoms we were given by you guys and from Ponyboy, we believe Ponyboy may be suffering from epilepsy, are you guys familiar with what that is?” the doctor asked, putting his hands in his lap and clasping them together.

“Uh, no, no, I’m sorry,” Darry said, trying to remain stoic. Should he know what that is?

“No worries. So, epilepsy affects the central nervous system, where one’s brain activity becomes abnormal, which in turn causes seizures, among other things,” the doctor explained, pausing to gauge the brothers’ reactions. They both just stared at him. Soda looked from Darry to the doctor.

“I was not made aware of any past injuries or occurrences that would have caused this for Ponyboy. So, oftentimes, one has a genetic predisposition for epilepsy, which I’m assuming is the case with Ponyboy. Sometimes it remains dormant, but sometimes it can end up coming to light after something happens, often stressful or traumatic,” the doctor continued. Darry sighed and put his head in his hands. Well, he knew what that was.

“A genetic predisposition? What, meaning it runs in the family? But we don’t know of anyone in the family with epi… whatever this is,” Soda said, waving his hand in frustration at being unable to come up with the name.

“Epilepsy,” Dr. Jenkins provided. “And that’s alright, it could be far enough down the line that no one was aware of it.” He never once brought up their parents, which Darry was grateful for. He didn’t think he could handle having them thrown into the conversation on top of all this.

“So… golly… what do we do with this? How do we help him?” Soda asked, Darry still stunned into silence.

“Well, it can be treated with medication. That will help control and maintain his seizures, although that doesn’t mean they’ll stop altogether. As you start to learn more about how it affects Ponyboy, you’ll learn what triggers his seizures. This could be things like flashing lights, certain noises, certain circumstances, stuff like that. You’ll learn, eventually. It’ll just take time,” Dr. Jenkins said, his voice soft. Upon reading the shock from the brothers’ faces, he offered some comfort. “I know this is hard for you boys, and I’m sorry,” he said, eyes softening as he made eye contact with the youngest of the boys. Within them, he saw pain, confusion, anger, to name a few. Darry took a deep breath and rubbed his hands back and forth on his pants.

“He does track, what does that mean for track?” Darry asked.

“That just depends on how this ends up affecting Ponyboy. We’ll just have to wait and see how he handles the medication, what his triggers are, stuff like that,” Dr. Jenkins said. He knows this was devastating news to this family and it absolutely gutted him to be the one to deliver it. He was never good at this part of the job. A knock sounded at the door.

“Oh, that must be Ponyboy,” Dr. Jenkins said, standing up to get the door. Darry and Soda sprung to their feet. Ponyboy, now wide awake and coherent, was wheeled in on a stretcher and placed against the wall of the room.

“Thanks, Belinda,” Dr. Jenkins said to the nurse who had wheeled in Ponyboy as she left the room. She nodded with a smile. Man, Steve would have been all over her, had he been here, Soda thought with a smirk.

“Hey, baby,” Darry said, grabbing Ponyboy’s hand, grateful to see the kid up and at ’em again. Ponyboy looked between his two brothers, uncertainty on his face.

“Hey guys. Sorry about tonight, I didn’t mean to scare you guys,” Ponyboy croaked, swallowing down his tears. He had no idea what was going on, just that he had another seizure, and he was getting a hell of a lot of tests done on him because of it. Oh, and he’d scared the hell out of his brothers.

“Hey, it’s okay, honey, don’t worry about it. Although if you keep it up, Darry’s gonna have grey hairs by the time he’s 30,” Soda joked, trying to lighten the mood and lift Pony’s spirits. Darry chuckled dryly and squeezed Ponyboy’s hand. Soda ran a hand through Pony’s hair.

“Hi, Ponyboy. We met briefly a few hours ago, but if you don’t remember, I’m Dr. Jenkins,” he said, hating to break up the moment shared between the brothers. He thought it was hard breaking the news to the brothers, talk about breaking the news to the kid. This was going to rock his whole world. Ponyboy knew by his brothers’ tear-stained faces that it wasn’t looking good, he just hoped he wasn’t going to die. He couldn’t put his brothers through that. He couldn’t put Steve and Two-Bit through that, not after they just lost Johnny and Dally.

“I already talked to your brothers and filled them in with what’s going on. It’s not the best news, if I’m being honest with you, Ponyboy,” Dr. Jenkins said, taking a deep breath. Ponyboy swallowed and nodded his head at him to continue. Brave kid, Dr. Jenkins thought.

“Well, Ponyboy, we ended up running some tests and went over the symptoms you gave us, and based off of those, we believe you’re suffering from what’s called epilepsy. Now, have you heard of this before?” Dr. Jenkins asked, tilting his head as he waited for Ponyboy to answer. Ponyboy stared in silence at him for a few seconds. Darry and Soda watched him, anticipating a response.

“Yeah, yeah, I do,” Ponyboy said, taking a deep breath in and exhaling loudly. Darry and Soda looked at him in shock. Guess they shouldn’t have been too shocked that Ponyboy knew what that was already with that head of his, of which was now going against him and was going to make his life a living hell.


End file.
